Matt Garvin's Last Stand

Jennifer's Body

2010-01-02T07:29:00.000-08:00

I bought Jennifer's Body on Blu-ray the other and god damn... that movie was flipp'n awesome. I love it when women curse more than sailors.

New Stuff

2009-12-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

It is so hard to blog when twitter is so addictive. Moving along I just about to finish NYB and started to film a short sci fi called The Exile. It reminds me a lot of Predator with The Losers... a la Commando. Also just finish reading a really script. Do to a promise I can say too much about it now. However it is refreshing to read something minus zombies, killers, and gallons and gallons of blood. More will follow soon.

Matt

Why I Can't Direct Porno

2009-07-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

I don't think I could direct pornos. Why? Well I was shooting my first quasi sex scene in NYB. I kept doing two things. Giggling when Dannie had to straddle the bed and make fake sex bounce noises. At one point I wanted to leave because I was going to have a fucking giggle fit. The other... I was a little nervous when asking her to lower her top so we could fake the nudity. I know what your saying. It's a horror movie, what's with the faking nudity? I will take a funny actress that doesn't want to do nudity over a shitty actress who is ok with nudity any day. However, I love the final product and Dannie & Hunter had me laughing for hours.

Matt Garvin

S.O.B

2009-06-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

Just got into a car accident and boy are my arms tired from beating the fucking shit out of the raging asshole who hit me...I wish I did that to the raging asshole. It would have been better than that dumb fuck looking straight at me and lying about hitting me car. Christ on a pogo stick, I wanted to head butt that son of a bitch like Bill Murry did to that twat McG on Charle's Angels. I blame Alexander Bell. I should of killed him when I had the chance.

NYB Update

2009-05-25T15:25:00.001-07:00

I am growing closer to the end of editing of NYB. There is lots more to do and I need to schedule a few reshoots. The film is looking good and I am enjoying wacthing it. But anywho I felt like sharing another stil from the film.

Enjoy
Matt Garvin

Oh Nappy

2009-05-23T19:08:00.001-07:00

What ever happened to Napster? Is it still around? Did it retire? I'm curious if it had a 401K plan. Oh Napster... I do miss you. Whatever your life your living now, I hope your happy.

I Need To Feel Pretty

2009-05-22T11:05:00.001-07:00

So to calm myself down from my cell debacle I decided to geek out for a while and buy the complete 3 seasons of the original remastered series STAR TREK. Yes, I am on a Star Trek high right now from the movie and yes I needed to buy something to make me feel pretty.

Who-F'n-Ray!

2009-05-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

Instead of waiting to the ends of freak'n time, I just decided to upgrade my phone. So, now I have this new phone which looks like the retarded step child of an iPhone and a Blackberry after a night of drinking, hardcore drugs and eating handfuls of paint chips... but I can text now.

P.S. I still think Alexander Bell should be butt rapped but his own invention.

Cracking the Bell

2009-05-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Apparently it will take 5 business days for me to get a new phone. 5 long ass freak'n days for me to get a new phone that I hate... so the phone broke 2 days ago and I won't get it until Friday of this week. I just want to point out that it took God to make the world in less fucking time than for me to get a new phone...Fuck! I'll kill you Alexander Bell! I'll fucking kill you!

Fuck Alexander Bell

2009-05-15T08:20:00.001-07:00

I hate my phone. I fucking hate it even more when it brakes. Fuck balls this is annoying. Now I need to get a new one. I hate carrying it on me because I have to put in my pocket. It bulges out and it feels uncomfortable. (that didn’t sound right) No, I will not get one of those stupid side clips that are reserved for douchbags and assholes. I hate seeing people where those things. They display it like a badge from Law & Order. What a bunch of cocksuckers… the people with the side clips, not Law & Order. What's worse is when it goes off it is ringing constantly with a song that I have assigned to it eventually making me hate a song that I thought was cool, fuck! Thanks a lot for inventing phones Mr. Bell you dumb fuck.

BIG TROUBLE

2009-05-13T06:27:00.001-07:00

Yes kids... dreams do come true! Fox is re-releasing one of my favorite of all time. It is also staring one of the greatest actors ever... EVER. Kurt-MotherFucking-Russell.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

That's right, a new extended cut with deleted goodies in it! I am completely geeking out right now

Interviews & Underwear

2009-04-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

I am walking out of Observe & Report last night (awesome movie buy the way) with my friend Reggie and I get a call from Rachel. She is one of the actresses from NYB. Rachel began to tell me she like the teaser trailer of NYB and she had my underwear... I immediately became curious. I couldn't remember if I had a black out recently or not. Then again that's the point of a black out and you're not supposed to remember.

Rachel went on to remind me about a scene that we shot and her skirt kept hiking up as she was trying to get away from the killer. She made it very clear to that killer that you might be trying to kill me but there is no way in hell I will let you see my butt cheeks and stab me... you can only stab me... I have standards. As the scene progressed I loaned her a pair of my boxers, which made it more comfortable to get stabbed in and beat the shit out of the killer too.

Aura Shannon just recently interviewed me on Backstage On The Bayou. We had the interview at Rue De La Course on Magazine St. I had a blast doing it. Go check it out and listen to me stammer through an interview.

http://www.backstageonthebayou.com

I've included a still from NYB of Rachel pulling down her dress.

Matt Garvin

New Year's Bleed Teaser

2009-04-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

Mega Hog

2009-04-23T19:38:00.000-07:00

SO I bought the History Channel's Monster Quest today. My youngest song loves monsters so I figured this would be perfect. We start to watch and the first monster is MEGA HOG. Long story short he is flipp'n scared out of his gourd because there is a 1/2 a ton razor back pig running loose through south Texas. I asked him I thought you liked monsters, his reply "Yeah, I like monsters... until I just found out that they are real." Way to go me. I'm a numnut. Any who, I leave you with a pic from NYB.

Happy hog hunt'n

Matt

Pick Up Shots

2009-04-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

I am doing one more pick up shot tonight and then its off to editing. That's the real fun part of film making. I am very excited. Tonight we need to shoot one of out actors being stabbed several times and a young adorable actress breaking your noise and getting electrocuted, Fun!

Matt

There Will Be Blood... and beer.

2009-04-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

So last night had to be one of our bloodiest and physically painful nights of shooting... but everything turned out just freaking awesome! Everyone from the cast and crew really busted their ass last night to make this look great so thank you all so very much for this. After we wrapped at midnight we watched the dailies and we all went out for a much deserved beer. I couldn't help but to pull a snap shot and show everyone.

Enjoy

Matt Garvin

Plastered Ep 1

2009-04-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!

2009-03-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

Sweet F'n lord... I am done with all my story boards! Now comes the fun part where Monica (script supervisor) and I get to mark all the pretty pictures up with notes. Hurray...

Matt

Craptastic

2009-03-02T21:06:00.000-08:00

So I'm scanning in all my storyboards and getting them all beautified for printing when I realized that I had bought 4 packs of the wrong ink to print all the storyboards out on... fuck. Scratch that... Super Fuck!

Emmys & Cocksuckers

2009-02-27T09:28:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here in the Charolette airport waiting for my connection and realized this is a great time to blog.

In a previous posting I was bragging about Cocksuckers International (UPS) and what a wonderful job they did of loosing my equipment on the way to Florida. Thanks again to the delivery guy who is directly responsible for loosing my equipment and making me spend way too much money on this recent video gig... you fat sack of crap.

Moving on.

I'm just about done with all the storboards for New Year's Bleed. Let me just say drawing a masked killer hacking people into bloody pieces on a plane is a great way for people to look at you funny.

Coming up on March 7th I am having the final auditions for NYB. We have a good cast so far and it's shaping up to be a rock'n production.

Oh! On a side note, my friends Daniel & Erika at Changeling FX have been nominated for...(drum roll) The Librarian 3: Curse of Judas Chalice.

Fuck yeah!

Later

Matt Garvin

Honest Trailer

2009-02-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, I love mindless, bigger than life action movies... but I would prefer if they were more honest.

Special thanks to HolyTaco.com because of their article: If Movie Poster told The Truth

www.holytaco.com

Matt Garvin Male Producer

Who wants to be Stabbed:)

2009-02-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

Hey folk, I have gone into full swing of my new slasher flick NEW YEAR'S BLEED. I'm about to start holding open auditions. So if you want to be hacked up into tiny pieces buy a masked man come on down.

PG Porn: Peanus

2008-12-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

I love this show.

REPO! Regoddamawesome!

2008-12-06T20:53:00.000-08:00

Let me just say a few things about Repo! The Genetic Opera. That movie was just insanely fun to watch. In this delightful feature you have Alexa Vega, Paul Sorvino, Anthony Head, Paris Hilton, Bill Mosley, singing in a Rock Opera about a man who comes and surgically removes organs form your body if you fault on a payment... brilliant.

It is a feature that really allows yourself to get caught up in the music and the story.

Go see this movie and have a blast. It's worth it.

Matt Garvin

Male Producer

Twilighting

2008-11-24T05:43:00.000-08:00

Why can't TWILIGHT be more like TRANSPORTER 3?

Matt Garvin

Male Producer

Wonder Bra

2008-11-20T09:39:00.000-08:00

A week or two ago a poster and a web site got some serious buzz. It was a freak'n awesome photoshop job of Megan Fox as Wonder Woman. It got so much attention even Warner Bros. were scratching their head's about it and had to double check to see if they had actually casted her.

Then a little tid bit popped up about Beyonce. Apparently she has expressed great interest to Warner Bros. and DC about playing the ass kick'n amazon... Wonder Women.

"After doing these roles that were so emotional I was thinking to myself, 'OK, I need to be a superhero,'"

That was the statement by Ms. Beyonce about being Wonder Woman.

Now all I am going to say to this is ... If Beyonce gets to be Wonder Woman then Ted Nugent gets to Black Panther.

Batman... What an asshole

2008-11-16T15:57:00.000-08:00

So there I am reading the new Kevin Smith's Batman Cacophony which is a great read buy the way. I realized something peering into the pages of this book about Arkham Asylum. You know the creepy building where Batman keeps locking up all the loonies that terrorize the beloved people of Gotham. There you have this old, run down, dilapidated going on 50 plus years old prison... you think Batman would dump a little money into it so the crazies wont keep escaping.

I mean, he has more money than George Lucas but doesn't feel the need to put fences around a prison where he routinely drops of fuck heads for killing kids.

It's not like if these bad guys stop escaping he stops getting checks from Gotham. He's got enough cash to launch that prison into outer space and put in an express elevator in it.

Batman... what a cocksucker.

Matt Garvin

Male Producer

Judas's Sippy Cup

2008-11-08T06:56:00.000-08:00

My friends Daniel and Erica at Changeling FX just had their trailer released for LIBRARIAN 3 : CURSE OF THE JUDAS CHALICE Directed by Jonathan Frakes or as we all know him.... Capt Picard's Number 1

Crushed

2008-11-07T08:32:00.001-08:00

Do you ever have on of those days no matter which way you sit your still crushing your nuts?

Matt Garvin

Male Producer

If Superman Has a Beer, the Terrorists Win

2008-10-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

DC Comics recently recalled an issue of Action Comics. The cover is Superman and his earthly dad Pa Kent, leaning on a fence having a drink together as father and son. The yanking of this piece of literature is due to the beverages in the hands of Big Blue and his dad. At first glance, it appears they might be sharing a beer. Two grown adults, one who has saved the world countless times, has died and come to life, and the other a farmer…having a beer. DC is worried that it would ruin the image of the Man of Steel for readers to see him enjoy an alcoholic drink with his own father. (Superman: The Motion Picture already did this, mind you.)

Can’t you see it now? …Countless children running through the streets, guzzling Pabst Blue Ribbon while holding dad’s hand as he slams back an Old Milwaukee.

I could understand if DC wanted to retract an issue of Pa Kent and Supes piss drunk on the cover yelling at each other. Pa Kent holding a six pack, one beer hanging from that last plastic ring, ranting about plowing old man Jenkins’s daughter down the road, even before the lark crashed into their backyard. Or another cover of Superman in a drunken rage smashing his dad’s teeth through his brains and into next Tuesday after he tells him he’s not his real father.

That I could understand. But the drinks that Pa and Big Stupid are drinking are root beer. It’s just tough to tell at first glance. DC was getting their panties all in a knot because of a soda drawing, even though DC has no problem with Superman doing the following on cover of a comic book:

1. Punching some cocksucker’s lights out in the name of justice.

2. Burning a woman’s face off.

3. Voyeurism

4. Scaring small children

5. Referring to a cat fight

6. Making dick jokes with Batman & Robin

But if Blue Balls wants to kick back a few with his dad he’s crossed the line. Children’s perception of Krypton’s Last Son is shattered. It’s okay to see Superman crush Harold & Kumar with an island made of kryptonite, but afterwards, it better not be Miller Time.

Matt Garvin

Male Producer

Vegas Layover

2008-10-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hello folks! Matt Garvin... Male ( Insert Phrase) here. Typing from fabolus Las Vegas! Ah... Las Vegas. The great lake city. So much has happen in so little time away from my blog. Doug is hacking away at Prompocalypse... literally he is about to hack the shit out of his computer. We had to restrain him with hoarse tranquilizers and Neil Gaiman novels. He's fine now...really. Moving on. I saw a new cut of the flick buy are fearless leader and all in the film should be proud. Especially you Damon... you silly little man.

Another reason why I'm typing away is too announce our next project. Yes, Doug and I are working a new movie together as his finishes his movie. Were taking an adventure into horror together holding hands....that's not gay is it?

I'll be wheeling the camera as Doug produces. Many of our friends will be returning from Dead Texas and Promageddon. What is this project? You'll soon find out.

Until next time.

Matt Garvin

Male Producer

Prompocalypse Diaries 5

2008-09-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy the skat provided by Doug.

Scifi Con and what not.

2008-09-23T15:56:00.001-07:00

Hello folk!

Matt Garvin... Male Producer here with exciting news! I just recently got back from RealmsCon from showing the first ruff cut of "I Was A Teenage Prom Queen or Zombies Need An Education Too!" It went over very well. People laughed and cheered and the ones that cried we kicked them out of the theater. The people at RealmsCon were flipp'n cool so many thanks to all of you for checking out my flick Dead Texas and my friend Doug's flick Promageddon. Especially the hot asian chick with the batwings and green eyes. Lets not forgot the young man in the Sailor Moon outfit...which was very disturbing to see if his needle point wasn't so damn good.

Now we are coming to a close of production of Prompocalypse and heading off to the editing room. Doug has his hands full with many hours of footage to look through. He has already ordered replacement heads for when his head explodes from all the editing.

Thank you all again.

Matt Garvin

Male Producer